my bestfriends diary

I wanted to share this song..

It is a song performed by various hollywood singers of today which serves as a cause for “Stand Up for Cancer”show. The song is intended for cancer patients who suffer from the contagious disease.

The moment I heard the song, I got inspired. It almost made me cry because I can relate to it. Really! It’s a very inspiring song. Read between the lines, you’ll realize that every single word of the song brings encouragement to all, not only for those who has cancer but also for those who are in deep pain, those who’ve been through a lot. For those who haven’t heard the piece yet, I’m telling you it’s one of a kind song. The song is simply fantastic and the singers too. They had deliver the song very well, sang it with sincerity and you can really see that they meant to sing it for a cause.

From my point of view, this song also fits those who are about to give up on life. It conveys a profound meaning about the four-letter-word called L{Live}-I{in}-F{Faith}-E{Everyday}, talking about life itself. Because life has been showering each one of us the challenges we have to face daily. This song reminds us that we have to be strong and must endure whatever trials that may come our way. The song is reaching out to us saying that Life must go on; that we have to rise every time we fall and the words “give up” should be trash out. All we need is to be strong! It also teaches us to live in faith everyday... being strong and being positive in every way is worthless when there’s no faith involve. Believe that everything happens for a reason and that HE is the only ONE in charge.

For those who are weak and uncertain about what’s happening in their life, this may not be easy but help yourself out; that’s the best effective way to fight against life’s battle; the efficient technique to resolve each problem that you will encounter;the useful method to unravel the insufferable twinge you’ve been carrying the whole time.

JUST STAND UP!!!

They are:
* The most important thing in my entire life.
* My inspirations,
* My air thru my breathless hours.
* My light thru my darkest nights.
* My sunshine thru my rainy days.

Her birth month is October... (weeehhh) 25 days to go and she will be celebrating her 22nd birthday.

She’s getting older already but still young @ heart.{yikes,hahaha} She’s excited because she will be unfolding another chapter of her life this year. This will be another year to surpass any upcoming trials and another year of her life to nurture maturity with in her. Additional chances for her to improve her self and to prove that she’s here, alive and kicking for a REASON. Another year to L♥ve, to learn, to serve HIM .Well, well so much for that another probability, let' see what her birth month says about her.

Last night, one of her angels called. Her friend was sobbing on the other line. She had no idea on what exactly happened but one thing’s for sure she needed accompany. Something’s wrong with her. They met, and she saw her friends’ eyes teeming with tears. Tears caused by painful wind-up I guess; only a wild guess.

It hurts her, seeing her friend like that...Sobbing and suffering because she’s hurting. She didn't know what precisely she will say to her. All she did was to be by her side, offered comfort; went with her for a walk; talked to her but not about the reason of her agonizing condition; slept with her; well, to at least soothe her tormenting situation even for a while. That’s the least she can do to her friend.

“You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time... has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it”

She felt discriminated. She was! For having heard all those "hehe" and "haha"... Yeah those few!!! {tsk} Do you think it looks hilarious to laugh with? It got to her nerves! She felt like she was the most tedious someone that moment. She felt sorry for herself all over again. Well, she’s not smart, as clever as you are. Bad thing for her, yeah I know! Although she was used to this kind of teasing but it offended her! She was upset. Can you please be a little sensitive???You hurt her...

It’s been a while since her last updated post. Her mind has been pre-occupied with so many things; which is causing her headache. (tsktsk) And up to this very minute she is not certain if she can note down this post as detailed as it’s supposed to be. However, she’s a little bit worried as you might find this post shallow. But still, she’ll do her best to share those mix thoughts that’s been bothering her this past few days.

First on the line:

WORK!!!
~For the 4th time in her career history, here she goes again. She was never satisfied with her previous work, similarly with her present. She finds a way to like whatever job she had BUT there has always been lacking. Honestly, she’s sick of this, jumping from one work to another. She wanted to be stable; nevertheless, she must find another one; one that can satisfy her; one that can really support her financially. She doesn’t want to waste her time to a job she doesn’t like anymore.

FINANCIAL SITUATION
~She is financially unstable, since she is the one supporting her younger sister’s tuition fees and allowance. What a responsibility she had but she’s happy though. It’s a fulfilling act for her. She was having a hard time budgeting her P2700 salary every payroll. It doesn’t pay off. (tsk!) She can’t even buy herself a pair of shoes or a cheap bag. Many times she ate one meal a day (imagine that???) it’s not a surprise why she looks so thin. Fortunately for her, she has falling angels who are ready to catch her whenever she’s out of budget *as usual*

LOW SELF-ESTEEM
She’s currently dealing with this matter:
~She’s putting herself down.
~She constantly doubts whether she can achieve anything.
~She doesn’t like how she looks; those stupid pimples growing over her face are so annoying.
~She got easily upset on petty issues.
~She losses her temper at a drop of a hat.
~Her impatience at times.
In short, she’s being so NEGA ever. And she discerns what would be the worst possible outcome if she continues to be like this. She doesn’t want it to happen that’s why she’s working on it as early as possible. To overcome this self- defeating attitude is what she aims first amongst all her concerns in life.



So, that sums it up. You may find it shallow… and you may think I’m being silly for bothering myself about those things. But it does matter to me. I’m putting myself in perspective so that it will be uncomplicated for me to resolve those concerns. I believe I can do it!!! Just recently a friend of mine introduced me to this song. I took a grasp of listening and after that, something inside me boosts out, well, its confidence I thought. Take time and listen it for yourself..

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt" . ~Sylvia Plath~





*sigh* i wanted to write everything that's been bothering me.

BUT!
My mind is empty.
I’m running out of words.
Lost in thoughts.
A hurl of my expressions appears futile.
Bucket of ideas turns out to barren of nothingness.

YES,
I’m raring to write.
However everything seems to dissolve whenever I insist on jotting down my thoughts.

MAYBE,
I need time.
Don't be on a rush.
You'll see, everything will soon come out in the open.

GodBless..

From the time when I learned about angels, I always wonder if they are real.They are often being referred to as guardian angels, who are sent by God from heaven to deliver HIS message to mankind, and to watch over human beings like me and you from danger. We all have guardian angels. Each individual has their own angel guiding them and protecting them from harm.

I do believe in them {angels} ;) YES! They do exist!

As I travel through my life’s journey, I’ve discover that they are real; can be seen, can be touch and you can even exchange conversation with them. Lucky for me I have few of them to prove that certain heavenly mortals do live with us. The truest angels I have known. They are the ones who are with me most of the time. They share my happiness, laugh thru my corniest joke, comforted me when I’m down and accepted me at my worst…they are the ones who listen to me with understanding. With them I can be myself; with no pretension and all. Because of them I learned to appreciate life more and I’m enjoying every second that counts on it. It’s them who taught me to extend my trust, to be optimistic and be positive in every way. They are the rainbow which appears every after rainfall and stormy days of my living. They are my protectors who shield me with protection thru their prayers; the puzzles who completed my imperfect life; the source of my strength, likewise my weakest point. They are the best buddies I could ever have in this whole wide universe. [hahaha] and I'm proud to introduce them here in my post one by one...(dancing banana) *courtesy of plurk*

*with my Aising*

* my SpeciaL aiLyn*

*chang2x*

*my 1heart*

*jojo*


Those are my angels, my confidant who plays a big part of my life..^^,

Monday last week, I had an argument thru chat with a friend. I even posted it here right after that unpleasant spat. It started with a confrontation and because I got carried away, alike on the other party it turned out as amiss. It’s a total misunderstanding but it affected our friendship. I chat her Tuesday of the same week, Yes she replied but that didn’t give me the assurance that she is no longer mad at me. I’m hesitant at first as she might ignore me but gladly she didn’t. I let her read the blog I posted about our conflict. I supposed she was touched and happy too but still, I’m not assured. Wednesday noon, when I accompanied a common friend of ours for a consultation at the hospital, we saw each other there. I felt nervous upon seeing her. It’s like I had butterflies in my stomach. However, I ignored that feeling. She sat beside me but we both felt the awkwardness between the two of us. She admitted that to me same as I to her. We parted ways that day with no assertion that we’re okay. Saturday afternoon, she texted me regarding an agreement we had before and we continued exchanging text messages. We even saw each other again. We talk as if nothing happened however a bit of discomfort is there.

I admit that I’m troubled. During our chat conversation last Monday, she said that “she misses the old me”. I was astounded for a few minutes. Several questions popped out from my mind. Does she mean that she never accepted me for who I am now? For all those years of friendship, she expressed that statement I can’t reckon. I was deeply hurt. I never expected that. It caused me pain and confusion.*sigh*

I wanted to believe that we’re doing okay but I can feel it, deep inside me that we are not totally fine. The difference now compared before is obvious to me. Perhaps, I am being paranoid. Paranoia strikes again!!! I wanted to ask her concerning this matter but I decided not to because it might lead to another misconception again. Well, I guess I have to deal with this. Sometimes it's better to leave the things as they are and decided to say nothing.*sigh* the hanging question now: When will she learn to accept me wholeheartedly? And the answer is unknown. :(

-!-Lyrics-!-

Life goes on, life goes on
Life goes on, life goes on

You sucked me in
And played my mind
Just like a toy
You were crank and wind

Baby I would give till you wore it out
You left me lyin' in a pool of doubt
And you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac
You should've known better but you didn't
And I can't go back

Oh life goes on
And it's only gonna make me strong
It's a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye cause you can't go back
Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me
And this feelin' that I can go back
Life goes on [repeat 2X]

Wish I knew then
What I know now
You held all the cards
And sold me out

Baby shame on you, if you fool me once
Shame on me if you fool me twice
You've been a pretty hard case to crack
Should've known better but I didn't
And I can't go back

Oh life goes on
And it's only gonna make me strong
It's a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye cause you can't go back
Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me
And this feelin' that I can go back
Life goes on

Na, na, na, na, na
Life goes on
Na, Na, Na, Na,
It made me strong
Oh yeah, got this feeling that I can't go back

Life goes on, life goes on, and it's only gonna me strong
Life goes on, life goes on, and on and on

shame on you, if you fool me once
Shame on me if you fool me twice
You've been a pretty hard case to crack
Should've known better but I didn't
And I can't go back

Na, na, na, na, na
Life goes on
Na, Na, Na, Na
It made me strong

Oh yeah
Gotta feelin' that I can't go back
No I can't go back
Oh yeah
I've gotta go now
I'm moving on
No turning back
'Cause you made me strong


*one of my current fave song now*
*love the melody and the lyrics*
*nkaka-relate ako coz i've been there once (LOL)*
*thanks narin sa kanya,i've learn a lot* ;)

I just had an argument with one of my angels because of a total misunderstanding... tsktsk... t'was the first time? Yeah I think so... I will not elaborate the reason behind it but t'was only a tiny thing, a PM approached and there the situation worsen... I personally admit that I have mistaken, I have misunderstood and I was being carried away by my emotions. And I earnestly asked apology of what I said, of what I’ve done. But we’re not yet okay; we are both cooling down and letting the misinterpretation fades away. My insight about what happened earlier is that it enables us to speak in behalf of our selves. We were able to blunt out our way of thinking towards the situation. I’m still being positive about it; we will be okay sooner or later… I can’t bear holding grudges with one of my angels nor any one of my fellowman. Hmmm...despite of what happened I just want her to know that I love her so.

_excerpt from my 1heart's blog



...daig mo pa ang isang super hero sa bilis mong mag-'to da rescue' whenever i mess up

...daig mo pa ang isang boypren sa dalas mong mag-'i luv u '[btw, labyu too!]

...and walang binatbat ang mga manliligaw sa sweetness mo!! ahahaha!

... a million thanks for the white rose..aylaveeet!! *hugs*

___MY REPLY___

...Wooow..im glad you liked it my dearie. i just loved doing something speciaL and sweet..,
-♥-for someone who deserves it
-♥-for someone who holds special place in my heart
-♥-for someone whom i trust
-♥-for someone whom i offer my unconditional L♥ve..

...that's the least i can do to brighten up your day. If i can just give you rose everyday(LOL)YOU are all worthy of my L♥ve day..:P and by appreciating it is enough to make me feel that i am being loved, too..^-^

I don’t know where to start. I have no idea on how to compose this blog. I always wanted to write, to jot my opinions about a certain topic and even share my Life OnLine. It’s just that I don’t have the confidence to try it. I’m conscious about my grammar, on how to construct sentences so that it may sound good and that it is grammatically right. I envy those who have the ability to write, to blog. They can express what they want through writing and blogging. Oh I wish I could do the same...

"I can do it! That’s the spirit girl” <- my encouraging lines.

A ball pen on my hand and a notebook on front of me patiently waiting to be kiss by the pen I'm holding. Tolerantly waiting for some ideas to come out from my mind, im desperate but then I always end up with a sigh. [haist] I can't do it! WHY? [arrrgghhh] I constantly ask this question to myself and have never been answered not until today, right this very moment. I’m in this certain place where tranquility reigns, I go here whenever I wanted to rest [emotionally] I had my pen and got a sheet of paper from my bag and started writing. There, I did it finally. I am writing now, expressing my thoughts about this "blogging" thing [hahaha] the original note of this has many erasures which I think is normal… I never expected this [haha] silently im celebrating my miniature victory with HIM ^^, oh my..what a relief!


ALAS! I did It.!